In The Mood

To be honest the title isn’t really appropriate, since I’m not in the mood for anything. I’m actually in a mood.

I know that at times I got through bouts of depression. And right now I’m going through one of those episodes. I have never been able to afford going to see someone about them. Often I will self treat myself. One thing I have been able to avoid is self-medication. I’m not one to take a bottle of booze off the the self and drink myself in to a drunken stupor. Although I have seen people do that.

Usually for me I will just crawl up into a ball. Well that’s more of a metaphor, since I don’t actually crawl up into a ball. What I will usually do is just sit in my comfy chair and stay inside. Somethings I will just mope. Other times I will sit in front of the TV and binge watch. Although the binge watching may be a channel and not a show.

I usually know when I get into a mood. Most of the times I have no idea what put me into it, nor what I can do to get out of them. I guess one bright spot is that I do acknowledge that I am in one. That sure wasn’t always the case.

I’m sitting here writing this and in a way, I am feeling better. Which is a good thing, I suppose. But I still feel like shutting out the world and just hide from it.

Is it the weather? The time of the month? Just my life in general? These are always questions I have and I never do seem to come up with an answer.

But for me, I’m going to put this away. Turn on the TV and get lost for awhile. It’s usually not too long.

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